The Things That We Can Control in Our Lives

control focus life Nov 16, 2022

There are some things in our lives that we can control and others that we cannot. It is essential to know the difference and to focus on the things that we can change. If we spend our time worrying about things that are out of our control, it will only make us miserable. But if we focus on the things we can change, we will be happier and more productive. This blog post will discuss the things within our power to influence and alter so we can live better lives.

There are things that we can't control, and there are those that we can

Life can feel pretty complicated and challenging sometimes. However, things can get more manageable if we know where to direct our efforts, energy, and time. You may have heard of the advice, "Let go of control in your life." This advice is one thing you can apply to improve your life, as there are things that are out of your control or have little influence on the outcome. For such out-of-control things, it's better to take a ride-along-the-waves approach in life, letting things happen and adjusting ourselves accordingly, depending on the outcome. If it's negative, we can build resilience and think of ways to get back up whenever something hits us down.

And then, there are the things that are under our control. While life may feel overwhelming sometimes due to events that are way beyond our grasp, and we feel like we are just getting swept away, it's not entirely uncontrollable. Some things are within our control, and if we like life to feel more manageable and better, we should put more of our focus and energy towards these things.

1. How we react to things

Many unforeseen events can happen within our lifetime, and we may get caught off guard once they happen, such as accidents. No matter how much we plan and prepare, things can suddenly happen, and it's normal to feel shocked when something happens instantly. However, we must remember that our reactions to such things are well within our control. We can feel indifferent, sad, or surprised, and it's up to us how we will react. How we respond will then dictate if we will get bothered deeply by something or move on and do something to change the situation for the better.

Reacting can also happen for things that are not as shocking as accidents and unforeseen circumstances. For example, we can always choose to react or not towards a particular event that we see on TV or read on the news or towards a statement by another person. We don't need to react to everything, and we can choose only to get bothered by things that matter to us according to our beliefs and interests. We will only waste our energy and time by choosing to react to everything when they don't have any significance to what can benefit our lives.

2. The decisions that we have to make

Many things can influence the decisions that we have to make in life. For example, peer pressure and conformity over a popular idea may make you want to do the same about something. Your family and friends may also give you advice on what to choose. Governing bodies and authorities may also enforce laws and rules limiting what we choose to do over something. However, ultimately, we will decide what decision we would like to follow. We can follow a popular idea, disregard the advice we hear from others, or follow our path and pick an option that resonates with our values.

3. How we see reality

Every person has their view of reality. It can be a positive or negative one. We can choose how to view life; our actions and beliefs may change depending on how we see it. A positive mindset will view life as something more pleasant, and challenges and problems can get seen as learning experiences. No matter how tough life gets, things will improve in the end. On the other hand, a negative mindset may treat life as something that brings endless suffering and a challenging ride. Our experiences in life can affect our perspective, but no matter what happens, we can always control how we see life and adjust our actions accordingly.

4. Productivity

All the actions we have to take in life are within our control. We are not puppets whose actions must get directed by someone pulling the strings. We have free will, and it's up to us to improve our lives. We can build a good work ethic and discipline ourselves to do the right actions to help us achieve what we want. On the flip side, we can also avoid responsibility and be lazy. The choice is ours, and we can always make major changes to shape our lives according to how we want.

5. Maintaining our health

Our health is precious. When taken to a holistic level, our health splits into five essential aspects: physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual. It is our responsibility to take care of all of these aspects and ensure they are all in good condition for our well-being. We can always exercise self-control to avoid unhealthy practices that compromise our health. It is within our control to take care of our body, mind, and spirit, and we can also choose to let them degrade if we become irresponsible. We can always pick the former choice if we treasure our health and want to live longer.

6. Enforcing limits and boundaries

Everybody has a private aspect of their lives. There are things that we can't just easily share with others. We can control to what extent people can intrude in our personal lives. Boundaries can get set, and we can dictate when people can interfere with our lives. Also, we can limit how much we can do and take when it comes to our tasks. We should know our capabilities so that we don't end up overstuffing ourselves with work and responsibilities that we can't handle anymore. We can always tell others about our limits and boundaries to maintain healthy relationships.

7. Personal growth and learning

Learning doesn't have to stop at school. It can continue well into adulthood and is within our control if we want to keep learning and growing individually. Of course, we can get content already with what we have and do now, but we can also spend time learning new things and skills that may help us in the future. We never know what life may throw at us, and having a good skill set and body of knowledge can unlock more opportunities. It's up to us whether we want to grow more or stick with what we have now.

8. What to believe, prioritize, and goals to set

Life can get treated like a blank slate. There is no universal meaning to it that applies to everybody. It's up to us how we want to interpret it and give ourselves a direction we want to follow. We can control what we want to believe and form our values as we experience various things. One can do so many things in this world, and it's pretty impossible to achieve and do everything. However, we can always choose what to prioritize according to our values and then set goals to help us accomplish our priorities. We have the power to control all of these things. The outcomes may be unpredictable, but our efforts can always have a say in influencing and attaining the desired results. It's up to us to create our reality.

9. Your identity

People's opinions about who we are can powerfully affect our perception. We can believe what they say about us and convince ourselves that we are indeed what others think of us. This kind of thinking is one way to form our self-identity. However, developing a sense of self-awareness and building your identity from within yourself, and observing how you act, think, and feel about things is better. People's opinions can vary, and you may feel conflicted when people have varying views of you. However, if you know yourself well, you will gain a constant description and identification of who you are based on how you see and know yourself, and differing opinions won't shake your perception. And the good thing is that one of the things you can control in life is how you perceive yourself.

The control is yours.

People can feel anxiety and fear whenever something that seems way out of control happens. Conversely, when things are familiar, and within our control, we derive comfort and security. However, some things in life are beyond our control, and it's better to develop a mindset that such things exist and it will be a better practice to adapt and learn how to move forward.

If some things are beyond our control, there are also those within our power to influence and change. So we must remind ourselves that such things exist, and when we direct more focus and energy toward these, we can handle life better and see it more positively. So worry about those you can control and affect the outcome, and be optimistic and hope that the other things beyond your control will improve and work out in the end.

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