Let Go of Control in Your Life

control life personal growth Jan 04, 2022

We all want to control our lives and ensure that everything is in order. We want to know what the future holds, and we want to be prepared for it when it happens. But sadly, this type of lifestyle only leads to frustration. So why not learn how to relinquish your need for control and surrender yourself into the flow of life? This article will discuss how letting go of our desire for control in different aspects of our life can lead to a more fulfilling life with less stress.

Dear life, I will let go of control now.

As humans, we have this natural need to control every aspect of our lives. We must know what is happening around us and what's to come in the future. But, unfortunately, many aspects of our lives are beyond our control. You can't expect other people to act and think like you wanted them to be. The decisions of others, weather, economic factors, and political situations are extensive, and we hardly can influence how they work. Our desire to control things stems from fear of the unknown. We are scared of what is yet to happen. So we get this urge to control outcomes so we can feel safer.

Being a control freak can result in negative thoughts and emotions that affect our lives. In addition, feeling the need to control everything can result in more significant stress and anxiety. You also feel more dissatisfied with life due to the outcome of certain things not happening according to your expectations. This way of thinking can lead to not appreciating what you have. Wanting to control things can also affect your thought process and make you more critical because things don't happen as you see fit. These things can result in you feeling more negative emotions that can even lead to depression.

As you can see, being a control freak can only make you more miserable. So frustration becomes the name of the game. However, learning to let go of control can give you inner peace. You also become more flexible to changes in your life and deal with unexpected events. Learning to let go of control can be challenging, but your mental health will be better if you stop worrying and go along with the natural flow of things in life. So what are the things you can do to stop fighting life itself and gain complete acceptance of what's happening around you?

1. Stay and live in the present moment

We mentioned before that the desire to control comes from fear. But, unfortunately, most of the things we worry about are those from the future, which are yet to happen. So if you want to let go of control, it's better to focus on the present. Focusing on the present moment allows us to feel more joy by appreciating what's currently happening instead of being paranoid about what will happen next.

2. Make plans but learn to be flexible

It doesn't hurt to make plans for the future to have some template on what we want to do later. But, at the same time, we must accept that things can change anytime, and whatever you have planned might not happen. So we have to be flexible and adapt if changes occur. Learn to stop resisting and be more malleable to whatever the world decides to throw at you.

3. Believe that everything will work out

Sometimes, things do not seem okay, even after doing everything we can. At times like these, all we can do is have faith that everything will work out in the end. We need to have the belief that things will get better. So surrender yourself to life and embrace trust. Positive thoughts will help lessen our struggle.

4. Accept the fact that we can't control everything

The truth is that we almost have zero control over everything happening in our lives. The earlier you realize this truth, the better. Spend your energy identifying what you can control and focus your effort on doing them, such as what you can do based on your skills, knowledge, and resources, and how you react to things. Accepting this reality will give you more freedom in your feelings and the actions that you can do in life.

5. Treat failures and problems as learning experiences

Events and situations turn into problems and failures when you want to take control of everything and desire a specific outcome to occur. For example, you have a new employee coming into your department, and you are expecting the newcomer to be a friendly and outgoing employee that you can work well together. However, the next day, the newcomer turns out to be a reserved individual who is not talkative and snobbish. He does know how to cooperate when needed. However, it's a problem for you because it turned out to be someone different from your expectations. You'll want to control how another person acts and thinks when you have a control mindset. That's not how life works. It's better to see the situation as a learning experience of adjusting to how the other person thinks and acts instead of making him act the way you see fit. The same thing can be said when dealing with something that we see as failures and problems in life. Something will become a failure or problem if we decide to treat them as one.

6. Seek support from others

Part of the reason why it might be difficult for us to let go of control is that maybe we are trying to do everything by ourselves. Also, letting go of control is more challenging when we don't have someone beside us to ask for help and support. We are also afraid to trust what others can do, so we instead think of doing everything ourselves. It can be challenging to depend on anyone to help lessen your burdens. So try to reach out and seek help from trustworthy friends, people, and family that you know believes and supports you if you have them in your life.

Focus on what you can control, let go of the rest

The practice of letting go of control can be challenging to do if you are not comfortable with uncertainty. However, life is full of unknowns. We can hardly influence situations that are outside of our business. Trying to control things can lead to resistance to whatever the universe likes to throw at your life, leading to frustration and lack of happiness. Instead of wasting precious time trying to make everything happen as you want them, it's better to learn the art of adapting and welcoming change in your life. It's up to you whether you wish to view the world as a hostile one or a friendly one to you. When you feel the need for less control and surrender yourself to life's whims, you gain peace of mind, freedom, and happiness in your life.

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