How to Build Self-esteemFeb 18, 2022
Do you often have thoughts like "I'm not good enough" or "I can't do this?" If so, you're not alone. Many people struggle with low self-esteem. It can affect our lives in several ways, including our relationships, work performance, and overall happiness. This blog post will discuss building self-esteem and start feeling better about ourselves.
Self-esteem is more important than you might think.
Self-esteem refers to the confidence level of an individual and how we see and feel about ourselves. It's like an inner voice that speaks to us how good or bad we are when doing things in our lives. A person can either have a low or high level of self-esteem. It's preferable to have high self-esteem since it can lead to more optimism in life, overcome challenges and problems better, and be more resilient. But, on the other hand, having low self-esteem can make you more harsh and critical of yourself, and you can get overwhelmed easier when setbacks happen in your life. Feeling low or down at times is normal, but if this becomes a chronic situation for you, it can lead to additional mental health issues like depression.
Having poor self-esteem can result from our experiences in life, especially during childhood. For example, being mistreated or subjected to abuse can diminish your perception of yourself. On the other hand, if you grew up in a more supportive environment with people who encourage you, you can have higher self-esteem. If you find yourself in the former situation, worry not, as there are ways to increase self-esteem. Self-esteem issues mostly come from how we think about ourselves, so we only need to control how we think and manipulate the situations that can trigger lower self-esteem.
1. Focus on the positive
With low self-esteem, it's easy to engage in negative self-talk and say things like, "I'm a failure," "I'm no good," or "I can't do this." Self-defeating talk like this can erode your self-confidence and pull you down further. To improve self-esteem, focus on the positive things about yourself. There's at least one good thing you are good at or can say about yourself. So every time your mind is about to engage in negative thinking, hold back and replace negative self-talk with positive ones. Focus on things that make you feel good and where you excel.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others
Your self-esteem may plummet because you are comparing yourself to others. You look at other people's accomplishments and compare them with your own, and then you start talking yourself down when you don't achieve the same level of accomplishments as others. Stop using others to gauge how successful you should be in life. Focus on your own goals and do the things that matter to you. If you have to look at others, use what they did as an inspiration, and maybe you can get some ideas on what to do in life, instead of looking at other people for comparison's sake.
3. Form relationships with positive and supportive people
The people around you can affect your self-esteem depending on whether they are encouraging and supportive people or destructive annoyances that do nothing but drag you down. If there are people in your life that only act as thorns and only make you feel bad about yourself and pull you down, you better start avoiding such people or limit your interactions with them. It will be better to form relationships and become friends with people willing to support you and be happy with your achievements. A positive environment improves your self-worth, and you can build confidence this way.
4. Don't be too harsh on yourself
Sometimes, the greatest critic of our mistakes and failures is none other than ourselves. Berating yourself for a single mistake can damage your self-worth if you keep doing it frequently. Everybody commits mistakes and fails sometimes. Nobody is perfect. Also, it's pretty unrealistic to always stay in a positive mood and feel good every time. There will always be downer moments. So don't be too hard on yourself, and learn to take a break for a while. Have a self-esteem boost by celebrating your small successes. Learn to treat yourself for a job well done.
5. Identify negative beliefs and adjust accordingly
When somebody has low self-esteem, it's easy to have negative thoughts and opinions about themselves. Things like thinking you are worthless or incapable of doing something come into mind. Awareness of such thoughts is the first thing to increase self-esteem. Ask yourself if the negative beliefs you have about yourself are true. Do other people also say them about you, or do you only make them up about yourself? Look for any evidence proving your negative thoughts are true. If there are none, you must start ditching these ideas in your head. You may be only making false conclusions about yourself.
It would be best to consider the situations that trigger negative thoughts in your head. They may come whenever there's a problem, significant change in your life, conflict with somebody, or having to work with other people. Once you know the triggers, it's essential to adjust your thoughts and try doing any of the tips we mention in this article. Then, reinforce yourself with positivity, and don't immediately think of your negative thoughts as accurate.
6. Learn to be assertive
People with low self-esteem will keep saying "yes" to other people's requests and demands. But unfortunately, this way of thinking can make them open to abuse and feel overwhelmed when too many things are already on their plate. One way to boost your self-esteem is learning how to be more assertive and saying "no" to other people. It can be a challenge for people with low self-esteem, but one can consciously stand up for their beliefs over time. Start by believing more in yourself and recognizing your worth.
7. Take care of your health
If you keep on neglecting your health, it becomes easier to feel down and think of negative thoughts in your head. So if you want to improve your self-esteem, you have to start taking care more of your health and well-being. Doing exercise, getting enough sleep, and eating healthy foods can all contribute to feeling good and healthy. When your feelings are good, you create a positive atmosphere in your head and thus improve your self-esteem.
Turn your low self-esteem into high self-esteem.
Working to improve your self-esteem takes time, especially if thinking low about yourself has been one of your negative habits for the longest time. Feeling and thinking lowly about yourself focuses on particular moments that make you feel down. It's better to recognize these things as phases and are only part of the big picture. If you think about the long term, you will realize that your entire journey is not all about failure, and there is success waiting for you if you choose to work hard and overcome any troubling thoughts you might have. It's normal to feel down sometimes, but it shouldn't become a habit. Accept that things happen and criticize yourself sometimes, but always remind yourself that you have what it takes to change how you think for a better life.