When Things Are Not FairApr 15, 2022
It's a fact of life – things are not always fair. We don't always get what we want, and sometimes we face difficult situations that seem impossible to overcome. It can be challenging, especially when we feel like we're the only ones going through it. But believe it or not, you're not alone. Everyone has faced hardships and has had to learn how to deal with them. It's not easy, but it is possible. This blog post will discuss some tips for dealing with the unfairness of life.
Is life fair at all?
Life isn't fair. You probably heard this statement several times. But, unfortunately, to a certain degree, it is true. It's impossible to provide everybody with an equal share of opportunities, resources, and a state of living with the way our system and society work, which bases what we can get in life depending on how much effort we put into our everyday work. We can't help but think that life is unfair when we see individuals who had it easy and seem to get lucky with the opportunities and resources. Of course, they still work hard to get where they are, but it can sometimes sting, right?
How we think about life puts additional weight on why we believe life isn't always fair. Our perception of reality and our experiences can change how someone sees life. It can seem fair and generous when you have good standing in society regarding wealth, possessions, and achievements. Turn it the other way around, and it's easy to see life as one unfair game. Your mind plays a significant role in how fair life can be. It's good to learn how to deal with life when things feel unfair.
1. Accept the truth that life isn't fair
You might have heard of the statement several times before, but why is it hard to accept the truth that life is unfair? It's a tough pill to swallow, but the earlier we get the truth of this statement, the better. If you think about it, it's impossible to enforce regulations where the system oversees and ensures that every person in the world receives the exact amount of food, opportunities, and resources to get through life. Considering human behavior, most people will not be content with what they have and strive to be better and acquire more than their neighbors. It leads to competition, and that's how life goes by. The best we can do is accept how the system is and work with our lot and make the most of what we can do to be better according to our terms.
2. Stop comparing
You might think life is unfair because you have some weighing scale in your mind that judges the quality of your life versus others. For example, you compare your circumstances to other people, and when you see what you don't have against others in their lives, you think life is unfair. However, thanks to social media and the Internet, it's effortless to play the comparison game nowadays, where these things make it possible to see what anybody in the world is doing in their lives. Your emotions then start to stir when you can't help to use others as a measuring stick to gauge your life. Unfairness can settle in anytime. To help eliminate any perceived unfairness in your mind, you must stop comparing yourself to others and focus instead on personal needs and the goals that matter to you.
3. Learn what you can control and what you can't
Many things in life are beyond our control, especially those involving more significant decisions that influence many people's lives and how the system works. At most, we can voice our opinion or protest based on our perceived injustices. Unfortunately, our voices often get glossed over by the system, and we get angry when nothing happens when we feel strongly against an injustice. Fighting for what is right is admirable, but we must also learn to balance it by identifying what's almost beyond our control and what we can control up to a certain point in our lives. When presented with an issue or things that happen in our lives, our reactions are within our control. Our actions are within our control depending on what we know and our resources. Please don't force it too much when things seem beyond our grasp, as it can only leave you frustrated. Try to let go of control sometimes, and it can help lighten the load.
4. Don't overthink the unfairness of life
When bad things happen and unfair situations often occur in your life, it's easy to obsess about the unfairness of life when we don't get the specific outcomes we want. Our obsession with injustice creates a negative mindset. The thoughts persist in your mind, and you can't help but focus on what went wrong, draining your energy and positivity. Instead of wasting time thinking about all the unfair things happening in your life, it's better to distract yourself by doing activities that put your focus on something else. You can also try taking action to create positive changes in your life to prevent future tragedies from happening. Let the thought of unfairness come, but don't let it linger too long and start doing something productive instead.
5. Practice gratitude
One reason why life seems unfair to you is that you might not be practicing enough gratitude in your life. When you focus on what you lack and how things should happen according to your expectations, you are setting yourself up for frustration and making you think life is unfair. Before seeing life as unfair, look first at what you have and appreciate its worth. Life becomes unfair when you use others' lives as your standard. Figure out what can make you happy and fulfilled and pursue those things instead of chasing what you think will make you happy based on what others do. Gratitude goes a long way in reducing any bitter and envious feelings you have.
Unfairness can be subjective.
One's standing in life can dictate whether we see life as fair or not. The systems around us, such as governing bodies, can also make life unfair depending on their policies. We can't help but think that we may have been treated unfairly by others and the system at some point in our lives. It can feel unfair to see somebody gain so much for little effort while you have to do hard work for something less. One thing we can do is to narrow down our field of vision and think to ourselves. What can give us a deeper sense of satisfaction and happiness? What are we capable of doing, and what do we have right now? An excellent approach to have is thinking of life as playing a game of cards. We have to deal with what cards we have got, and even if the dealer of the cards rigged the system, we need to adapt and make the most of what we have.