Don't Take All the Blame on Yourself

behavior blaming responsibility Apr 04, 2023

It's easy to blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, but sometimes you don't need to take all the blame. Other people and factors are involved in every situation, and it's important to remember that. This blog post will discuss some of the reasons why you shouldn't always blame yourself for everything.

Control your self-blaming

Blaming is not a good activity for our mental health. All it does is displace the fault to someone else when something unpleasant happens, but it doesn't solve the problem. One may ruin their relationships with people if they keep blaming others for their problems, especially those who have nothing to do with causing an unfortunate situation. As much as possible, we should stop blaming others whenever something negative occurs and focus instead on solutions that don't involve blaming someone and letting them solve something. And then, some resort to self-blame.

Self-blaming can be just as unhealthy as blaming others. It occurs when a person takes too much responsibility for everything, even if they are not at fault for an unfortunate situation. And just like with blaming others, problems won't get solved if you keep taking responsibility for every adverse situation that happens in your life. However, you can conserve your energy and have more peace of mind if you stop taking the blame on yourself every time, and several things can help you realize what you are doing and stop it for good.

1. It's not only you that affects the outcome of things

For a particular outcome to happen, various factors can come into play. Let's use a group project in the workplace as an example. Every person involved in the project will have a role to fulfill in accomplishing the project. However, even if you did your role in the project, you can't have complete control over what others will do. Not only that but forces outside the team responsible for the project can affect the completion of the project. Your bosses may suddenly cancel the project or decide against the team's interests. Equipment troubles may make it challenging to accomplish objectives. If the project relies on people receiving the result well, that's another thing you will not have absolute control over. Many things can lead to something happening. Even if you fail at your responsibility, you can't quickly put all the blame on yourself because you never know what other things could have affected what you are working on. It's better to move on and do something to get back up instead of blaming yourself.

2. A lot of things are beyond our control

As we mentioned, many things can affect a particular outcome, and some are beyond our control. So whatever you are trying to do, especially if others are involved, it can be challenging to expect things to turn out exactly as you envision them. You can't fully manage what people think and do, unexpected things can happen, whether good or bad, and things beyond your influence can control outcomes. So whenever something unfortunate happens, you don't need to blame yourself for things out of your control. Instead, learn to let go and think instead of what you can do to pursue the same goal again or try something else. Focusing on things you can control will be better, and you can be more productive instead of punishing yourself with too much self-criticism and blame.

3. You can't be perfect

No matter how skilled and knowledgeable you are about many things, you can't always be right and perform flawlessly every time you do something. So mistakes and failures can happen, which we need to accept. Learn to forgive yourself and engage in more self-care whenever you commit an error. Making mistakes is normal, and you can't always take full responsibility for a failure or problem since some things may have caused such outcomes, and it's not entirely your fault. However, if you know you did your part and things still failed, you can forgive yourself and move on. You can always try again and take a different perspective next time.

4. People may not always take kindly on you

Every person will react and perceive another individual differently from you. Even if your intentions are good and you gave your best on something, there may still be someone who won't give you a good reception or feedback on what you did. When such a thing happens, you don't need to blame yourself when somebody says something bad about you. They are the one who has a problem, not you. As long as you know what you did is correct and you didn't resort to any immoral act to achieve something, there's nothing to blame on your side.

5. We all have our weaknesses

Our shortcomings can bring about some of our negative experiences, so we can't help but take responsibility and blame ourselves when they happen. However, some of our weaknesses may not be easy to change or overcome, and some stay the same throughout our lives. It would help to understand that such shortcomings are part of who we are, and the earlier we accept them, the better our well-being will be. There is an excellent way to counter blaming yourself though: if you know your weaknesses, don't try to do these things by yourself. Seek help and support from others so that you can overcome areas you are weak at. Success can come easier this way, and even if you fail, if you know it is a collective effort and know that blaming others won't help, you can move on better and be more victorious next time.

You don't have to take too much responsibility.

Taking personal responsibility and blaming yourself too much can be unhealthy. You may even come off as arrogant because it is as if everything hinges on you while there are others whose efforts also contribute toward something. Being responsible and accountable for our actions is essential, but there should be balance. Blaming ourselves for something directly our fault is okay, but even then, we should recognize if there is even a need for blaming. Looking at the bigger picture and the long term requires more thinking about solutions instead of finding who should take the fall over something. Blaming is like a temporary escape, but you will only get more stress and emotions hurt when people, including yourself, don't take kindly toward blame. It can be okay to blame but move over it quickly and work more toward what can make you overcome your circumstances.

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