Controlling Anger

anger management emotions Dec 07, 2022

Anger is a feeling that we all experience from time to time. It can be helpful in certain situations, such as when we need to stand up for ourselves or defend someone else. However, if it is not managed well, anger can cause us to lose control and behave in harmful ways. This blog post will discuss some tips on managing anger effectively to stay healthy and safe physically and emotionally.

Control anger before it controls you

Anger can be such a powerful emotion. It's what we feel whenever something happens that disagrees with how we expect or want things to be or somebody irritates us past our limits. It's normal to feel angry sometimes; however, it becomes a problem when it goes out of control. Uncontrolled anger can lead to aggressive and destructive behaviors that can harm you and the people around you. For example, one may lash out at somebody who has nothing to do with the problem or do unruly acts that can destroy property or hurt people. In addition, it is challenging to reason once anger controls us. Any decision or action made while angry will most likely hurt us and possibly others. Therefore, we must learn some anger management so we can control anger before it goes out of hand, and there are some things we can do to subdue our anger.

1. Take some time to cool off

Aggression can increase when we express anger, especially if things continue to escalate and don't stop, such as when someone fires back at our tirades. It cannot be easy to control, so one way to lessen our anger is to step back and get some time for reprieve and rest. Move away for a while from whatever is causing you to get angry, be it a situation or a person making us angry. It is helpful to take a break for a moment, especially if you don't know how to resolve whatever is causing you angry feelings. Calming the mind can help you figure out a solution and approach the cause of anger more calmly.

2. Learn how to settle an argument

People are one of the most common reasons why we may get angry. Somebody may irritate you by saying something offensive or trigger something within you by doing something that goes against your beliefs and interests. People may also disagree with you about various things, leading to arguments that can go out of control. Suppose a person is what's causing your anger. In that case, it's essential to learn how to settle an argument, such as having the ability to listen and considering the perspective of the person offending you.

3. Learn to listen

Again, if a person is causing you to get angry, it will be good to learn how to listen to others, as it is a part of settling arguments effectively. The problem with anger issues is that there can be a tendency to think only about yourself and see everything another person does or speaks as wrong. Of course, you can be at fault too, but we may not see that when we can't stay calm and let anger control us. Listening can diffuse the situation by letting us hear the opinion of another, and they may make a point and not be in the wrong. Anger problems can come from within too, and listening to the offender's perspective may shed light on what's causing you to feel angry. But, again, it can be something coming from the inside. Knowing how to listen can also help you take in the advice of others trying to help solve the situation instead of dismissing them due to uncontrollable anger.

4. Change your perspective

Anything can be a source of anger, depending on our mood and how we see things. Anger is a normal reaction when something goes wrong and is against what we expect. However, if we step back and look at what's causing us to be angry, we may get a different perspective and realize that what makes us angry may not be worth our time or is minor compared to the bigger picture. Perhaps we can learn to deal with it or focus our minds on something else. We can get angry over the smallest of things, and over time, these small bouts of anger can lead to a big outburst if something significant happens that causes us to blow our fuse. It can be better to ignore or gloss over minor things and spend our energy elsewhere. Controlling our emotions is not easy, but trying to think big and analyze the situation can help us grasp ourselves, including lessening our anger.

5. Identify the cause of anger and find a solution

Expressing anger won't solve the problem. It's like fuel that keeps the fire burning. Continuing to indulge in anger will only escalate things and worsen them. Instead, try to focus on what's causing you to get angry.

  • If it can be solved, think of the steps you can take to solve the problem. The longer you keep things as is, the worse your anger can get later.
  • If what's causing you to be angry is beyond your control, learn to let go of your thoughts and focus on what you can do instead.
  • If you are only making an issue over something and it's coming internally, perhaps you can focus on something else and don't take things seriously over something that won't play a part in the grander scheme.
  • If it's a person making you angry, try to settle things peacefully as much as you can and make the other party stop if they resort to name-calling or using aggressive behavior. Don't fight fire with fire. Having a third party to mediate and help solve the issue can help if possible.

6. Distract yourself with a different activity

If you can't find any immediate solution yet to what is making you angry, it's better to find some quiet time first to reduce stress and relax your mind. Move away from the agitating situation or thing and do some activities that can distract and make you happy, such as doing your hobbies, listening to calming music, or doing some deep-breathing exercises. Once you are calmer and ready to face your anger triggers again, your mind will be more stable, and you can think of a way to solve your anger issues.

Don't let angry feelings control you.

Anybody can get angry over something. However, every person has a different temperament regarding getting angry. Some reach the threshold much quicker than others; some are more tolerant of particular issues or things, while others may quickly react or get triggered by the same thing. Whatever gets our fuses blown, it's essential not to let anger dictate our actions and thoughts. Most of the time, the actions and words we speak while angry are irrational and produced due to the outburst of emotion in our minds. We may regret what we do and say while angry, and it can be too late when the damage is already done, such as harming personal relationships. In addition, chronic anger may lead to health problems and get us into trouble more often.

Anger is an emotional state that should ideally only last for a while as a reaction to something unsatisfactory. However, we shouldn't let it stay for long in our minds as it can harm us, and who knows what we may do to others. Also, we should learn to tone down our voices and not let whatever is in our minds while angry get out of our mouths as we may speak something offensive and further agitate somebody. So, take a deep breath, assess the situation, and calmly resolve whatever is causing you to be angry.

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