Are You Making More Enemies than Friends?Jun 21, 2023
The phrase "you reap what you sow" is all too true regarding our relationships with other people. If we're not careful, we may make more enemies than friends. Not only can this be hurtful and damaging in the short term, but it can also lead to much more significant issues further down the line. That's why it's essential to consider how our words and actions will likely be received by those around us so that we can create meaningful and lasting friendships rather than enmity.
Why am I suddenly losing friends?
In one's own life, it feels good to have friends. People you can rely on during times of need, having their company in your successes and enjoyable moments, and accepting you for who you are; these are the people you can consider as real friends. However, we all know that life is not perfect, and our lives are filled with not only friends but also enemies. Sometimes, we may not even know that someone is an enemy, and it can get complicated because we may not even be doing anything wrong to someone, and yet, they can think of us as an enemy.
Two kinds of situations can create enemies. If you do something wrong that can make others angry, there is a good chance you may not become on good terms with the people you have offended in some way. The other, more complicated situation is that you are just doing your best and holding on to your beliefs, and yet, some will not take your stance kindly and see it as wrong, making them hold some grudge and antagonistic toward you. If you know you didn't do anything and people still hate you, you don't have to worry because they have a problem, not you. Whatever the reason one acts like a villain toward you, it is essential to know what actions can create enemies for us, as we most likely don't want to fill our lives with people bent on destroying us and making our lives more complicated.
1. Being arrogant
Nothing is wrong with being proud of our achievements and who we are. However, pride is fragile, and it only takes some exaggeration to turn it into something else. It becomes arrogance when we overinflate our egos, exaggerate our accomplishments, create false stories to impress or overemphasize our qualities. Some people act arrogant because they think it helps them assert their dominance and have people's attention on them. What they may not think of is that arrogant behavior causes one to lose friends and create more enemies instead. It is probably safe to say that most people don't want to be around an arrogant person, as they can be annoying and cause them to feel insecure over what they lack.
2. You are just doing your best
We all want to achieve something in life, and for this to happen, it's normal to do our best at many things to grow and unlock our full potential. However, you may be surprised to know that the desire to excel and achieve good things in life can create enemies. Some people envy what others do, achieve, and have, and they have this mentality that if I can't have or do something, so must you. Haters gonna hate, as they say, and discovering that there may be such people around you may cause you to worry, but you should not worry. You are only doing your best to grow and succeed in life, and they have a problem if they can't take what you accomplish in life.
3. You strike back at someone
It can't be helped that sometimes, we will get into confrontations with others. People may say something offensive to us, physically hurt us, do something that can sabotage our reputation, or do something that can annoy us. The moment we hit back at anyone that does these things to us, whether physically or verbally, it can fan the flames of chaos and make them also strike back at us. This can cause an endless cycle of hate and revenge, automatically creating enemies for us. If you can, try your best to ignore and don't hit back anymore at somebody causing you trouble, especially if they are only doing petty things to annoy you. If the situation becomes more serious, it will be better to escalate the matter to the proper authorities that can handle the situation.
4. You have a different belief than others and hold on to them
As we live through life, we eventually form our own beliefs about various things based on our experiences that can affect how we see reality. People come from different backgrounds, and it's normal for people to have varying beliefs about the same thing. The moment people become aware of each other's perspectives and opinions, it is inevitable that, at some point, people will argue and fight each other because of different beliefs. For open-minded people, varying beliefs won't be much of an issue since they can be more accepting of what others believe and respect them while maintaining one's beliefs. For those who are not, things can get more complicated, as people may suddenly shun you for believing things differently, such as in politics or religion.
5. People change as they grow older, along with their priorities
Change is inevitable, and as we grow older, our traits, personality, interests, and beliefs can change from what they used to be. This means that we should be ready that certain friendships may change because people follow their own paths, which can differ from yours. Your friends grow, and their personalities may change based on what they experience in their lives. Their interests and beliefs may clash with what you like and believe now, creating friction in your relationships with them. It is almost impossible to have a life that satisfies everyone in your social circle, and you will most likely want to follow a path that doesn't involve doing things to please others. We may have to let some people go, as they may no longer be the best friends that we used to know.
6. You ignore others and don't give them what they want
Humans can be demanding creatures, and the moment you aren't able to give what they want, including things that are not so obvious, they may start resenting you. People react differently when denied what they want; some can hate you if you refuse to give them what they need. Attention, acceptance, belonging, and recognition are essential for one's well-being, and being denied of such things can make people resent others. Being ignored can make someone feel out of place, and being denied help when you ask it from someone can also make you have ill feelings toward people you ask for something but are denied. Rejection can be painful, and giving these in some form toward others can make them feel bitter towards someone.
7. Doing something wrong to people
This is obvious, but if you do something terrible against people, expect them to be angry and treat you like enemies. Things like:
- Committing a crime against someone
- Trampling over people's rights
- Overstepping your boundaries
- Saying something offensive or disrespectful
- Destroying others' possessions
- Treating them like they are of lower status than you
- Manipulating others for your gain
- Hating people
- Treating everybody as competition
- Feeling joy out of others' mistakes
- Gossiping about others
- Judging others harshly
If you don't want to keep adding people as adversaries in your life, it's best to avoid doing things that don't benefit people in any way.
Make more bridges rather than burning them.
Life is full of different kinds of people, and we generally like to have as many friends as possible instead of enemies. However, things can be complex sometimes, and people may dislike you even if you are not doing anything wrong. Other times, we may not remember or be aware that we did something that significantly hurt someone, but we didn't know because they didn't tell us about it. If only people could be more open and understanding about their feelings for each other, it would be easier to maintain good relationships with each other. As for ourselves, we should do our best not to do anything that can hurt others physically or mentally. We never know which people can help us in the future, so we don't want to make enemies out of everyone.