Alone But Not Lonely

alone emotions happiness lonely personal growth Apr 18, 2022

There is a big misconception that being alone automatically means you are lonely. While it is true that some people who are alone feel lonely, others don't. There are many benefits to living life alone. You get to set your schedule, make your own decisions, and spend time doing the things you love. So don't be afraid to be alone – embrace it. There are plenty of ways to enjoy life without having someone else on your side.

Are you feeling lonely when you are by yourself?

Being alone and lonely may sound synonymous, but they are different concepts. It's essential to distinguish the difference between the two to avoid the misconception that a person doing things by themselves without the company of others is automatically lonely. Loneliness is not exclusive to being alone, and it's possible for a person in the company of others to feel lonely.

Alone is a pretty self-explanatory term. It is a state of living where you do things by yourself. Loneliness usually happens when you are missing the company of others, such as your friends, family, or peers. However, it goes beyond that. How is it possible for someone to be lonely even when you are together with your friends and peers? Loneliness can occur when you feel disconnected from your friend, even with their company. It triggers when you don't get your expectations from them, such as love, appreciation, and support. Even if you have many friends on your social media accounts or in real life, if only a few or none of them gives you a more profound sense of relationship, you can still feel lonely. Also, if you depend on others too much for validation and happiness, the moment your friends are away from you or you lose your friendship with someone, you can feel the pain of loneliness once they happen.

Loneliness is dependent on your feelings. As long as your emotions and expectations are satisfied, you will be happy. If your expectations and emotions are tied to other people, you can then see why many people get lonely once people disappear from their lives. So how is it possible not to feel lonely even when alone? Learning to appreciate yourself and practicing self-love can allow one to enjoy their own company. It can be tough to do such an act or way of living, but it's doable, and some people are capable of living on their own. Watching a movie on your own, eating in a restaurant by yourself, or strolling through a mall alone can look weird in the eyes of other people who are conditioned to think that you must always be together with someone when doing these things. However, if you know how to make yourself feel good and aware of who you are and have the confidence to pull off such things, it's possible to enjoy your alone time and not feel lonely while doing them. So how can you go through life being alone without feeling lonely?

1. Don't entirely depend on your happiness and fulfillment from others

Humans are social beings, and forming relationships is a core part of living. While growing up, we learn that we must bond with others and have friends. Having fun means hanging out with others while doing the activities you love. Society doesn't possibly tell you that you can enjoy things by yourself. It's easy to develop a mindset of dependency on others for happiness and fulfillment when you keep seeing everybody else around you hanging out with friends while having fun. However, our friends will not always be with us all the time because they also need to tend to other things in their lives. At specific points in your life, you will be left alone, and this is where learning how to enjoy something by yourself comes in handy. Try to do things that can be enjoyed or accomplished alone. Remember that happiness and fulfillment are things that you can trigger in your mind, regardless if you have company or not.

2. Stop comparing with others

One reason contributing to loneliness is when you feel left out after seeing what other people do in their lives. Thanks to social media and the Internet, it's easier to get a peek at what's happening in other people's lives nowadays. However, it stings when you see others enjoying themselves in the company of others while you don't have anyone in your life to enjoy activities together. To help lessen feelings of loneliness, you can learn to limit your social media usage, so you won't have to fear missing out and alleviate the comparisons. Instead, identify what can make you happy and fulfilled without relying on others' company.

3. Learn to practice self-care

During moments when you are by yourself and have problems trying to figure out what to do, why not learn how to practice self-care? Taking care of ourselves is essential, so we can always be ready to do things we have to do, including being there for our friends come the time when we can bond with them again. Exercising, taking breaks, doing some self-assessments, or sleeping are things one can do for self-care. Solitary moments can also be time to reflect and meditate on the things that happen to your life and see if you need to make any changes. Maybe it's time to set some goals and plan for your future or do some personal development to learn new things and skills.

4. Observe and look around you

It's easy to get caught in the rush and business of everyday life. Sometimes, we forget to enjoy the present moment and look at what's happening around us. Alone moments can turn into observatory moments. Aside from resting, you can use the alone time to observe nature and what other people do around you. Get lost in your thoughts and maybe get an idea of trying something new based on what you see. Observing also helps you be more in touch with the world and remember that you are part of something bigger.

5. Do something productive or entertaining

When you are alone, you can use this time to do something worthwhile. If you have a side gig, you can dedicate your solitary moments to doing something else that will earn you more money or supplement your other activities to reach your goals. Alternatively, you can spend this time doing something that can make you laugh and happy, such as your passions and hobbies. Whatever you choose to do, learn to do something productive or fun when others can't accommodate you.

You don't have to feel lonely in your own company.

Being alone doesn't have to be a traumatizing experience. There's an association that being alone equals loneliness, but that is not always the case. Spending time together with friends and family is a beautiful experience. However, they might not always be available to accommodate you since they also need to care for things in their lives. One must learn how to be self-sufficient, including feeling happy and fulfilled, while also maintaining your relationships with others. Various ways can help us go solo through life, but remember that you must also do your best to have a social circle to help and support you when it's not enough to solve things yourself.

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