Why Is Asking for Help Difficult for Some PeopleJul 26, 2022
In life, sometimes we need help but don't want to ask for it. It is especially true for some people when it comes to asking for help from others. It can be challenging to admit that we need assistance, especially if we feel we should be able to do everything independently. This blog post will explore why some people find it hard to ask for help.
I'll do it myself
Everyone will need help at some point. Each of us has our strengths and weaknesses, and we won't be able to cover everything within our capabilities. Everything might be going fine for now, but a time may come when we struggle and need help from others. Asking for help can be as simple as approaching somebody and kindly asking for help. However, for some people, the very act of requesting help makes them hesitant to do it. So they return to the situation and deal with problems alone, which may give them a more challenging time. There are reasons why somebody may find it difficult or refuse to ask for help from others. Knowing them is essential, as not asking for help when needed may only complicate matters for the person concerned.
1. Being too independent
There's nothing wrong with being independent. It's a good way of learning how to stand up in life by ourselves and make decisions on your own. However, too much independence can make someone think they don't need the help of others or hesitate to ask for it when the time comes. Independent people may become too self-reliant and believe they can live independently without needing help from others. However, there may come a time when things become too much, and asking for assistance won't hurt when that time comes.
The essential thing with being independent is balance. People must be aware of their limits and know their capabilities. If something happens and the solution is beyond one's current skills and knowledge, that's the time to ask for help from others.
A person's pride can be the reason why somebody refuses to get help. Receiving support may look like a blow to the ego of a prideful person. It can make them look weak and incapable. Another example is that the person who can assist you may be someone you are not on good terms with professionally or personally. Even if they have the skills and knowledge to solve your situation, you refuse help because you don't feel like getting support from someone that's enemies with you, or maybe you're the only one thinking like that. Lowering one's pride makes it easier to accept help. Nobody is perfect and capable of solving every challenge life provides on their own.
3. Lack of trust
Trust is an essential element in making relationships between people stronger. Without it, people would be suspicious of each other, and society will fall apart. It is also vital when asking for help from others, especially strangers. It can be challenging for somebody who lacks trust to entrust their fate to someone they don't fully trust, even if the person has no ill intentions and is willing to help. They are unsure if the person will keep their word, or maybe they have other motives for helping.
Past experiences affect how we trust others. Of course, one can always work to improve their trusting capabilities, but it won't be easy for someone who has been betrayed several times. On the other hand, it can make somebody cautious when asking for help in the future, and they may avoid it entirely.
4. Low self-esteem
Self-esteem refers to how we see ourselves. Somebody with low self-esteem may have difficulty asking for help from others. All kinds of thoughts may pop into their heads, such as thinking they are not worth the time of others and don't deserve any support. So they may wallow in self-pity and can make the situation worse.
Thankfully, self-esteem is something that one can improve over time. However, it can take time and practice to boost one's sense of self-worth. Once it improves, one will be more willing to accept help from others.
5. Limiting thoughts
Our inner voice can tell us many kinds of thoughts that can act as a limit to our actions, including getting help from people. For example, somebody who thinks they are terrible may refuse any help, thinking they deserve to be punished and suffer for their actions, even though they may only be exaggerated thoughts in your head. Thoughts of self-sabotage may make someone let their problems continue without calling for support. Your inner voice may tell you you are good enough and don't need other people, so you don't call for help even when needed. Sometimes, our minds are only preventing us from asking for much-needed support. Acknowledging such thoughts and trying to change them can help us open up more to others. However, if there is some underlying psychological problem preventing us from reaching out, it will be better to talk to a therapist. Friends and family members of people experiencing such issues should take the initiative to help the concerned person as they may not be inclined to solve their situation.
Fear is another limiting belief that prevents someone from asking for help when needed. Some people are afraid of hearing people say "no" to their requests. They fear being rejected, and they may think rejection is equal to people dismissing their identity as a person. However, the person saying "no" may be unavailable or lack the resources to help when you ask them for support, but they may be willing to assist in the future.
Another way fear gets in the form of asking for help is when some people think others may use it to gain favors and make the person asking for support indebted to them. The thought is that since I helped you, then you must also help me when I ask for it. Some people may also think others will make them do their bidding since they helped them. As a result, people with such thoughts will refrain from asking for support from others.
Ask for help when you need it.
There's no shame in asking for help. We all have a weakness, and there will be times when we feel vulnerable because we can't handle a situation on our own. Times like these are when we need support from others. However, our life experiences can make asking for help very easy, or it can be a big hurdle to overcome. Some of us might have grown through life not receiving much help from anyone. Others didn't have much of a hard time due to their resources and skills. Regardless of what we have gone through, we should be open to the idea of needing help because a time will come when we need it. Helping each other is a way of connecting with others, and it can make us feel that we belong to something bigger than ourselves.