How to Know if Somebody Is Only Using YouOct 13, 2022
Nobody wants to be used by somebody they care about in a relationship. But, unfortunately, it can happen all too easily. If you're not careful, you may not realize that you're getting used until it's too late. This blog post will discuss the signs that somebody is only using you in their relationship. Knowing these signs can help protect your mental health and keep you from getting hurt.
A healthy relationship is essential.
Relationships are two-way streets. Both parties must benefit from each other and know how to give and take properly. There is a consideration for each other's welfare and well-being.
Not all relationships can be perfect. A relationship has ups and downs, but the relationship will work out as long as each person considers the other person's well-being. The problem occurs when one person in a relationship often wants to tip the favor to their side, which is when someone who wants to manipulate and use you can appear. It is not healthy to be in a relationship where one person is a user, and the other does all the giving. It can stress out the giver and cause them to feel resentment and have difficulties trusting other people, especially when they only realize later that their family, friend, or loved one is only taking advantage of them. So it can help when you can spot early the signs that someone is only using you for their benefit, so you can clarify things and perhaps let the person go out of your life before they ruin your mental health. Some of these signs are as follows.
1. They act all too good when they need something from you
A user is somebody who only gets interested and is on good terms with you if they need something, such as money, doing favors, or other items they want. You may notice them acting nicely and speaking positively and then insert their request at the end, asking for things like getting a loan from you, which they may never pay, or borrowing an item they may never return. And once they get what they want, they won't treat you nicely anymore or act as if you don't exist under their radar. In a balanced relationship, you will treat your partner or friend nicely even if you don't need anything from them because you care. So when somebody only gets nice to you in exchange for something, that's a red flag that somebody may only be using you.
2. They are good liars
Since a user will like to ask too many favors from you, there's a good chance that many things and stories they will tell you to get what they want will be lies. For example, they may tell you they are in a pinch, or somebody might be nagging them for payments. However, once they obtain their desires, you may see that they are okay and not in trouble, or instead of paying a loan, you discover the money borrowed from you was used to buy something else, like an expensive gadget. These acts can destroy your trust in somebody and thus ruin a relationship. Also, be wary of promises being made by manipulative people, as they will most likely break them.
3. They are not there when you need them
In a one-sided relationship, one person keeps taking from you, and you are accommodating whenever they need something. However, when you are in trouble and need help, they may refuse to help or outright ignore you. If it happens once, it can be understandable since they may be busy or can't provide help immediately. However, suppose you notice them frequently or always not helping you, even for the simplest things like accommodating you while shopping or being there for you, while they keep asking for favors from you. In that case, it might be time to rethink your relationship with this person. They may just be taking advantage of what you can provide to them.
4. They don't say "thank you."
Hearing the words "thank you" from someone who has received help or any form of aid from you is a powerful way of showing gratitude and appreciation. As a result, your self-worth improves, and you feel you have value in others' lives. However, don't expect to hear words of thanks from someone who uses others. You may listen to them rarely speak words of thanks, or even not at all, as if helping them is already an expectation, so there is no need to show gratitude. This attitude is pretty selfish and arrogant and shows signs of entitlement. If you are in a relationship with somebody like this in your life, you better not give in to every demand and evaluate when they need real help.
5. They don't consider your welfare
For somebody who keeps on asking all the favors and manipulating you, thinking about your welfare is the least of their concerns. All that matters is they get what they need and want and will disappear in front of you once they get them. They will not make an effort to at least consider if you are financially well before borrowing from you or if you are in a good mental state to help. They may even make you feel guilty if you can't provide what they want and say about the little things they have done for you.
6. You often or always have to get them out of trouble
Suppose you start to feel uncomfortable and think you only exist as a provider and helper to someone without anything in return, even if it is just appreciation. In that case, you may be in a relationship with a user. You may notice this person frequently getting in trouble and not being responsible with their lives. They think this person in their lives will always bail them out and provide support when they need it. So if you keep tolerating such irresponsible acts from a person, they will never learn their lesson and keep using you, which only makes you feel more frustrated later.
7. They keep stepping on your boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is essential for maintaining good relationships. Each of us can set boundaries that not even the closest people can cross because we have beliefs, possessions, and values that are very important to us and are private. However, a user will not respect your boundaries because what matters is that they get what they want. So you may find them stepping on your beliefs and values and making you start feeling resentful because of what they do to you.
8. You start having feelings of resentment and anger toward somebody
Notice yourself being resentful of someone even if they are not immediately doing something wrong to you. It can be a good sign that they may be doing things that are taking advantage of you, and it's gradually putting a heavy toll on your mind. If you notice any of the signs mentioned above getting committed regularly by a family, friend, or partner, such as not being appreciated, you may be in a problematic relationship. It is better to clarify such issues with people who give you heavy feelings so that they may still change their ways, or worse, you may have to cut relationships or distance yourself from such people if they refuse to change their practices.
Both parties should benefit from a good relationship.
Both parties know how to give and take in a healthy, committed relationship. They understand if one is not immediately available for help and considers their circumstances. Such is not the case when one person in a relationship is manipulative and only uses the other for their gain. There is often an ulterior motive behind their actions and what they say. They only pay attention to you and make you feel special when they need something. One must be aware of the various red flags that indicate somebody is a user. Your personal life will only become better if you keep such people away from your life. To make a relationship work, it is not only one individual that should benefit all the time, but there should be a balance between two people's welfare.