Sometimes life comes at us so fast that it leaves us feeling lost and confused. Which, can lead us into massive confusion. Join me today as I discuss how to move past confusion and into a flow that takes over and makes life move. Lets make it a super Saturday with clarity and focus.
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Episode 2879 Feeling Lost And Confused | How To Find Your Direction
[00:00:09] Good morning, and welcome to Morning Coach today. I am so glad you’re with us. As you know, my name’s J.B. Glossinger, and this is your personal evolution system, the place to get your day started right. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I’m so glad you’re with me today. So, we’re rockin’ and rollin’ and we’re putting some great energy out there, having some fun. It is a Saturday. It is the weekend here at Morning Coach.
[00:00:34] I’m getting ready to go to my class. I have some more training this morning, and then a fantasy football draft, and then, yes, I am going to watch the fight tonight. The McGregor and the Mayfield fight. It is a spectacle and I just can’t believe that is there doing a pay-per-view for $97. So, I just got to see what’s going on. I mean, it’s just unbelievable. I’ve got to give credit to these two guys. One’s making $300 million. The other’s making $100 million. For what, 15 – 20 minutes of getting in the ring? Now, obviously, there’s been a lot of promotion, but it’s pretty amazing to me, from up from a prosperity and abundance standpoint, what these guys have been able to do when, really, they’re not even in the same sport, and they’ve created this event. It just goes to show you that we live in a time of prosperity. If you’re creative, if you can come up with some great ideas, there’s really a lot of opportunity out there to generate revenue in different ways, in crazy ways. I mean, 300 million, 100 million. It’s crazy, crazy money. Crazy money.
[00:01:39] Well, anyway, we’re off today to talk a little bit about confusion with systems, and, you know, one of the things that we do on Saturdays is talk about systems. And one of my aims here at Morning Coach is to get you to move away from confusion and really get some understanding of the directions that you’re going. What direction are you going to be headed today and for the rest of your life? One of my big things that I always work with people on is that we talk about planning. People will plan their wedding, and they’ll spend years planning their wedding, but they won’t spend any time really planning their life. So, it leads to confusion. And it leads to chaos. It leads to frustration and stress along with so many other things. And so, I want to help you in that.
[00:02:26] So when you get in a position of confusion and things aren’t working, what I do is I step back and I say, “what is the next experience that I’m looking for?” Meaning, what do I want to have in my life now? I know there’s a lot of people that say “well, I want a car and a house and this and that.” No. What is the next thing that’s going to take the pressure away from you? Maybe it’s speaking to your 12-year-old daughter again. Maybe it’s find in your phone. You ever lost your phone? You’re, like, in that panic situation. Well, slow down and just figure out where it is. Right? But getting through that chaos is such an important aspect of life and really recognizing where you’re at. You know, it’s kind of funny when I think back to when I was struggling and I was in college and coming out of college, I got a dog and he was a German Shepherd mix and we named him Chaos. And when I was writing “Get Out of Neutral,” I actually said “I feel like the reason I named him Chaos is that was kind of where my life was at that time.” It was very chaotic. And so, whenever I say “chaos” it kind of takes me back to my big old dog Chaos that was my buddy for all those years. But we all go through it sometimes. And so, let’s stop, slow down, and start thinking about what is the next experience we’re looking for.
[00:03:37] The other thing that we need to do is we need to understand what our true intentions are. Again, this gets a little bit cloudy sometimes because it’s hard to get clear about what we’re trying to do and go after. For me, it’s taken years, and it has taken coaching. It’s taken talking therapy and it’s taken going to events, and seeing other people, and looking at life from a million different directions. And what I’ve come up with is that I really love helping people. And what I’m really realizing is I love to help people in life, not so much in business. It’s just my thing. A lot of people come to me and say, “Hey J.B., can you teach me business? And can you teach me email, marketing, and all this stuff.” And I don’t enjoy that. I really don’t. What I enjoy helping people with is helping people find that path to where true happiness is. And the truth is that all that business stuff really doesn’t lead to happiness. It can. I mean, in a certain sense, if that’s what you love to do. But for me- and some of it I like to teach, I mean, just because it’s fun- but what really brings me passion is seeing the transformation where somebody gets it and they finally have more peace and they have more joy and they more have more happiness in their life. That’s what I really love.
[00:04:53] And so, when you’re working in those areas, what you can do is start to think about how can you slow down a little bit and think about that next experience that you’re going to have, the next thing you want to do. What is it? And let me slow it down a little bit with that. What is that next experience? Well, what is it that you’re looking to do? Like, how do you want to feel? What do you want your perfect day to look like? Those are some things I work with my coaching clients to really understand that next experience. Then we can start to kind of move through the chaos and get the plan together.
[00:05:29] The other thing that’s really important when we have a lot of chaos and things are happening around us is we need to simplify the process. That was a big thing with my coach this year. I needed to learn to simplify. And, for example, my buddy Ryan Lévesque who wrote “Ask,” which is a great book on marketing,- and he’s a great marketer and a good friend of mine, and I had him come down and speak at one of the events and just good person- he came out with this new software called bucket.io. And it’s really cool. Like, it segments people. You can solve people’s problems. You can take them from one bucket to the next and you can really help people out. So of course, you know me, I jumped at. I’m a nerd. “Let me put this together!” I called my coach. I said, “Oh my gosh, you got to see this software. It’s so cool. And, It does all these things like it helps segment and it helps get people. Solve their problems because I can know what they need. And on the phone line he just was quiet. I’m like, “what’s up?” And he’s like, “Well, why do you need that? You have Google Forms. That’s what you use for getting that information. Why are you going to complicate your life? Why are you going to add another thing to learn? Something else to come into your life that’s going to make it difficult.” And it’s true. And for me, that’s one thing that I’ve been doing. I tend to over-complicate things, and that’s what my coach has done for me. My coach has helped me simplify the process of the things that I’m trying to do. And so, when you’re in chaos, always remember, what is my next experience? And how can I simplify this process? How can I simplify my life? Let’s not complicate it and add another layer. We want to simplify. OK? I see a lot of people chasing knowledge or chasing information when they’re in confusion. Sometimes you’ve got to stop being a student, start making decisions, and just move through it. Right? And that involves simplifying and taking action. And that’s really what I want you to focus on: simplification and taking action.
[00:07:23] Something else is really important when you’re going through chaos is you have to be honest with yourself. When I’ve had some struggles in my life, financial struggles specifically, I wouldn’t look at my bank account, I would try to ignore it, and I just tried to put blinders on and not see anything and just kind of keep going. And the truth was I had to be honest with myself. The first issue when you have an issue is to admit it. You hear that with Alcoholics Anonymous, like the first problem, first thing you have to do is say, “Hey, my name is J.B. And I’m an alcoholic.” If you’re going to get through it. So, you have to first be honest with yourself and initiate the process of understanding you’ve got a problem or something isn’t working right. So, recognize, “Hey, look, I don’t have a lot of money right now, but I’ve got to start somewhere,” if that’s the issue you’re having, or “I don’t feel like what my next might are going to be.” That’s a problem; let’s figure out how to get through it. So, recognizing it is critical.
[00:08:19] The other thing as you start to be honest with yourself is you start to see the underlying issue, and it could be- and don’t take this the wrong way- but it could be that you just don’t want to work. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t want to work. I want to go do things and have fun. But once you understand that, then the root of the problem is I don’t want to work. Well, then we can go out and start working. Like, we can handle that because we know what the real problem was. Remember, when we discussed problems- and I haven’t done this one in a while on Morning Coach; I probably should come back to it- but when we discuss problems and issues and chaos, we need to get to the root of it. We need to get all the way down to what the real issue is. And a lot of times what happens is people don’t get to the root problem and they’ll throw money at it or they’ll do something else and they don’t even realize that the problem stems from something that’s totally different from what they’re working on. And so, by being honest with yourself you can start to dig in and really figure out what is the issue that you’re having when you’re dealing with that chaos.
[00:09:18] You need to take control of your time. There’s another one so I’m not going to tell you to do time management. I’m not a big fan of time management. I think time management is 1980s. Is there a place for it? Yeah. You put some stuff on your calendar, but really, we need focus management. That’s how we take control of our time. So, when or where are we spinning out of control? Where are we at? Are we really, really in the opposite spectrum of what we need to be doing? I mean, today I did my heart rate variability in my sympathetic. I’m so far in sympathetic; I’m a 5 today out of 10 which is really bad. So, I have to take control of my focus because my focus has been on a lot of stress. So, I’m moving that back to get myself into a place where I can take control. What can I take control of? My focus. How do I control my time? By controlling my focus. And that’s the big issue. Remember, time is relative. Yeah, we can see it ticking and we can see it happening on the clock, but then a day, one hour, for you isn’t the same as an hour for me. And when we can start to understand that from a deeper aspect, we can start to take control of it.
[00:10:25] And we do it by focus. Couple other things when we’re in confusion and things are going a million miles an hour and we’re in chaos is we got to learn to say “no.” So, “no” is a special word. Most people have a lot of trouble with it, but it’s really the secret. It’s why that the Sacred Six is there because if you’ve got more than six massive projects going on, you’ve got to learn to say “no.” You’ve got to back up from some of them, and you got to say, “look, I can’t do it right now.” And that goes for work, with family, with everything. And if you’re listening to Morning Coach, you’re probably a giver, and so it’s a challenging thing for you to do. So, when you’re dealing with confusion and chaos, remember, say “no” and simplify. If I could give you two pieces of advice today to take away, I would do this: I would say, “say ‘no'” and simplify. If you do those two things, you’re going to get back on track. So, we’re going to learn to say “no,” and we’re going to start to simplify our lives, and that’s going to help us get out of confusion and chaos.
[00:11:25] A couple other things here as we finish today is you need to get back out and get on track- meaning your health, your home, your life- and really get back on track with the basic things. Getting up earlier. Listening to something positive. Getting to the gym. Getting back on track. We all backslide. We all go back and forward. That’s why I do this every single day because I want you to have a message that you can come to no matter where you’re at. I know there’s people that leave and there’s people that come back, and we both go back and forth. Ray Martinez sent me an e-mail yesterday- thank you, Ray- because I mentioned him a few Fridays ago, and I know Ray’s been with us doing his CrossFit stuff. And we all go back and forward. It’s just part of it. I have people that listened to me 10 years ago that have come back. That or the “man, I need to get back to the basics,” and, really, that’s what we all need to do. That’s why I do this. I mean, I backslide, and that’s why I hire a coach. And that’s why I go out and find people that help me and resources like Morning Coach because I backslide. And sometimes I need that kick in the butt, and I need to get back on track. So, if you’re having chaos in life and confusion, take it as a sign from God that you need to get yourself organized. You need to simplify and you need to get yourself back on track. Also, you need to learn to start saying “no” to more things. And you need to start focusing on your health, your home, your life, your structure, your goals, and really get back to what I do here at Morning Coach and what we do together and that is to manage your energy and your peace. If you manage your energy properly, you’re going to do the right things and you’re going have energy to do things. And if you manage your peace, you’re going to have the right mindset to make the decisions that you need to make. Those are the two things. And so, let’s get back on track.
[00:13:08] So, again, this is one of those CoachCasts that you can put in your toolbox if you need it, pull it out again, and we can use it when you’re going through some confusion. But it’s really- and the truth is, I’ll be totally blunt with you- that it’s almost a reset every day. That there’s so much confusion and chaos in life that I need to come back every day. I go to bed, and I need to get recharged. I need to get back on track. Now, yeah, there are times when I go week by week, and I’m really on it. But there are times I just need to do this every single day. And so, I’m here to help you with that. We’re going to do that together, and we’re going to manage our energy and peace. But if you’re really struggling, look at that next experience, simplify, say “no,” and get back on track. All right? And I’m going to help you with that. I’ve got M/M coming which is Mindfulness and Meditation for Busy People. It’s going to be one of the best courses I’ve ever done. It’s something I need, and I’m going through some deep study in it, and I think it’s going to help you deal with this confusion and chaos and get you back on track. All right?
[00:14:09] So, let’s get out there. Have a great one. Tomorrow, we’re going to talk about rediscovering faith, and we’re going to keep rolling. But if you need anything, you know where to get me: firstname.lastname@example.org. But I appreciate your support with reviews, subscribes, likes. Anything you can do to help us, it helps us get this word out and helps us make a difference out there. That’s what it’s about. And I love you for doing that, and I love you for helping us. All right? So, get out there. Have a great one. I’ll be back with more as we keep pushing this up, keep pushing it up right here at MorningCoach.com. Get out there. Have a great day. And let’s end the confusion.