Mind Your Own Business

attention mindfulness people Oct 09, 2022

We've all been there. You mind your own business, going about your day, and somebody says or does something that sets you off. Before you know it, you're in the middle of a full-blown argument with no end. So why is it that people can't seem to mind their own business?

Taking a peek at people's business

People can be naturally curious, including wanting to know what's happening in other people's business. Most of us want to know what's up with others, and we may want to give our opinion or comment regarding somebody else's business. Nowadays, it's easy to peek at others' lives through social media and the Internet. You can practically look at what somebody else is doing in their lives, wherever they are in the world, by peeking at their social media accounts.

This habit of minding others' business can seem like a way of staying informed and keeping up to date with what's happening around you. However, you may only end up giving yourself unnecessary stress and trouble by paying attention to others' affairs. Furthermore, this habit of peeking at others' lives can lead to activities that are not necessarily helpful to you and the people around you. Some of these activities include judging or criticizing others, spreading gossip, and acting like a know-it-all that can fix others' lives. So, when you think about it in the end, what will you gain from meddling in others' lives?

Minding your own business can be better than sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. Taking care of your own business may sound like becoming selfish and not paying attention to what others do, but it's more about maintaining balance regarding when you should interfere and when you should not. Ultimately, we can exert the most control and change regarding our lives, and trying to control and influence others may be futile. People tend to stick with certain habits and attitudes, and trying to change these from the outside can be tricky, even more so when it's coming from a stranger giving unsolicited advice. Still, it's vital to know when it can be good to dabble in others' business and minimize the times we should not do it. Some things can help us be more mindful about when we should focus more on ourselves and avoid interfering in others' lives.

1. Ask yourself, "What will I gain from this?"

It's so easy nowadays to see what everybody is doing based on what they post on their social media accounts. You are not just limited to overhearing people's conversations in real life or seeing things you are not supposed to see. And it's also easy for you to speak and comment about these things or have some thought rushing in your head. It can take a good amount of discipline and effort to stop and ask yourself before minding others' business: "What will I gain from doing this?" Unless you derive satisfaction for your ego by knowing things that don't have much influence in your life or there is some vital information to be attained, it's better to keep silent and don't interfere unless people ask you to or the situation requires urgent action. You may only stress yourself from engaging in things that don't have anything to do with your life, and you may get in trouble with others.

2. Learn to listen without judgment and being too nosy.

It can be challenging to stay quiet and avoid being judgmental when you keep hearing people talking around you about specific topics, including people's lives. You may want to master the art of hearing something in your ear and letting it out to your other ear. Don't pry into another person's life. If you become the recipient of another person talking to you about somebody else's affairs, listen out of respect, but try to deviate the topic to something else and not entertain the conversation any further. And even if such ideas try to stay in your head, do your best to leave them out if they are not going to help you in any way.

3. Don't give your advice or opinion unless they ask you

When you read an article online or hear about something you may know, you may want to comment and share your opinion. It is not inherently wrong to give advice or an opinion about something. However, it may rub people the wrong way, especially if you are not entirely an expert regarding the subject matter. As a result, you may not give high-quality advice that can have some consequences for others if they listen to you. Some people may also see you as a know-it-all or get agitated if you suddenly start writing a wall of text in comments sections on websites or messaging applications. The thing here is that unless somebody asks for your opinion or knowledge about something, you should keep quiet. Don't try to fix what is not broken. Unless there is an emergency that calls for expert knowledge, and you happen to be the one who possesses this knowledge, then you can give your help to the one who needs it.

4. Every person is different, and you need to accept that

Each person has unique habits, personalities, and traits; some like to nitpick others regarding these things. Some have this idea or vision that people should act and think like this and not like this. The problem comes when some people enforce their beliefs on others. These beliefs may have come from what we see as the consensus of society's standard for various things, like actions, appearances, perspectives, and thoughts. But the thing is, every person is different, and unless they are doing something morally wrong or against the law, then that may be the only time we can step up and start minding their actions. We should just let people do their thing unless it can directly affect our lives and have negative consequences.

5. Know your boundaries as well as that of others

Everyone has a personal space where we can dictate when others can interfere with us or when they can't. This space can vary for each person, and the level of tolerance regarding how much others can put themselves in the person's life differs. Therefore, it is vital to know of such things as they can benefit yourself and others. Before meddling with something, think about your place in the person's life. Are you a family member, relative, close friend, or random stranger? Several things in life need to get settled on a personal level. Unless others allow you to interfere, don't involve yourself in matters that don't immediately concern you. Sometimes, people will show clues that tell they don't want others meddling in their affairs, such as through body language, verbal cues, or talking in a private space. Try to be sensitive to such things and respect others' privacy.

Your life matters along with everybody else's, but there should be a balance regarding our concern for others.

As people, we can be responsible not only for our lives but also for others. Showing concern and giving help are good acts, but we also have to know the right time and place to do these things. To mind your own business doesn't mean becoming selfish; it means knowing when you should focus more on yourself and letting others handle their thing during specific situations.

For a start, maybe you can try giving the attention you put on others to yourself first. There could be things you need to fix in your life first before focusing on others. For example, minding your own business can be beneficial because it gives you more control over your life and notices the things you can improve to achieve success. You also spend more time working on improving yourself instead of wasting time minding the business of others that may not have any effect on your goals and life.

Many thoughts can form inside our heads when we read and hear about all sorts of things regarding others' affairs. The essential thing to do is not to entertain all these thoughts unless there is some vital info you can obtain or they affect your life in a particular way. Knowing where to stand and place yourself in others' lives is an ability that can help you in getting better relationships with people and give you more peace of mind.

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